There’s never a wrong time to try new things, especially when it comes to pleasure.
It’s easy to get caught up in patterns, and it’s even easier to get bored with those patterns. Although we may find some patterns in our pleasure journey- it doesn’t mean we have to be bored. So, if you’re feeling stuck or just looking for something new and fun to try with yourself, we’ve got you covered.
Set the Scene
What does self pleasure usually look like for you? Where does it take place? Are there certain things you always bring out? Are you catering to one or two specific senses?
A way to enhance self pleasure is through how we set ourselves up to experience it. If you’re in a place where you want to try something new, but not ready for a huge change, this is a great place to start. Even by doing something as small as picking a different time of the day or lighting a candle can transform your pleasure experience into something new.
A great way to do this is to explore using all your senses:
SMELL
There’s a reason smells can bring back such vivid memories. Smells have a strong connections to our minds, emotions, and especially our pleasure. Try setting the mood by introducing a new smell with a candle, incense or even baking something you love the smell of. You’d be surprised how when you encounter that smell again, it may evoke some feelings from you.
TOUCH
Grab that really soft blanket on the couch, and wrap yourself in it, pay attention to what it feels like on your skin. What does a firm grab of your ass feel like? A gentle caress? What feels good to you? You can also play around with temperature by drinking hot tea and giving yourself a gentle kiss. Does your body like the heat? How would it feel if only part of it was exposed to the cold?
SIGHT
This goes beyond what our eyes are directly focused on. What do you usually look at? Are your eyes usually closed? What does the lighting in the room look like? Can we dim the lights? Can we watch ourselves in the mirror? Should we record ourselves and then watch it back? Even taking a moment to acknowledge the choices you make can help bring you into the present and connect you with your body.
TASTE
Our mouths play a big role in how our body gets turned on.
Try eating some aphrodisiacs before or during times of pleasure (artichokes, asparagus, chocolate, figs, oysters, spicy chili peppers, strawberries, watermelon, pomegranates and so many more!). You can also consider playing around with some flavored lubes on your hands or on your toys. Go ahead, give it a taste!
SOUND
It is so easy to get distracted by the world of sounds that exist around us. Putting on music, listening to ASMR, or even focusing on the sound of your own breath can change what you’re experiencing.
Stimulate Your Mind
If the physical setting is not something you see yourself changing, don’t worry. There are plenty of internal ways to mix up “getting in the mood”. The brain is the largest sexual organ, so let’s have some fun with it! If you usually watch porn, try a category you haven’t checked out before, try reading or writing some erotica, or making up sexy scenarios in your mind. Whatever you usually lead with, try something else. You can also switch it up altogether and really focus your mind on the sensations that you’re feeling.
Please Your Body
When we think of masturbating, we pretty much have our go to moves. This is an invitation to let go of the things we usually do. To switch the vibrator out for a hand, to try out that new lube for a self massage, and maybe to take an activity that usually happens in the bed, into the bathtub. Here are a few things to consider:
STIMULATION
External
Internal
Anal
Nipples
Other erogenous zones like the nape of the neck, the wrist, the bottoms of your feet, inner thighs (and many more!)
TOOLS YOU CAN USE
Vibrating Toys
Dildos (Silicone, Ceramic, Glass)
Hand
Water
Feathers
Nipple Clamps
Cuffs
Ball Gag
*Anything that feels good and is safe for your body
A Final Thought
When was the last time you masturbated and didn’t focus on the orgasm? I know this might sound insane, but stick with me. Pleasure exists in the whole process. From the moment that sexy thought slips into your mind and gets you worked up, to the sensations and frustrations along the way. In the way we may enjoy quickies, and also enjoy someone really taking their time to pleasure us, we can give both of those to ourselves when we masturbate. We can have quickies in the bathrooms at work, and we can also set aside 30 mins (Yes, 30 whole minutes) to seduce ourselves and show these bodies just how much we love them.
If you’re looking for more ideas and a cute way to keep track of them check out our “Grow Your Pleasure” Bingo below or join us for one of our virtual Activating Your Sensual Self classes!
